I might have forgotten some realizations, but I'll try my best to recall.
The other day I was thinking about how awesome worship songs are. We sing these songs every week... sometimes we learn a new one, sometimes we sing an old one... but lately, I've been singing and realizing how wonderfully true the words are. Amazing grace. How deep the Father's love for us. Blessed be the name. Mighty to save. Savior King. It is well. What amazes me is that this God I love has been the same for generations. The realizations, the emotions... everything I feel... someone else also felt the exact same way. The heartfelt words penned by some random person hundreds of years ago... are still true today. Why? Because God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
It was an amusing revelation when one day I told Anderson that all the love songs ever written... I felt like that's what my heart was saying to him. Every time. He was my love song. He was all my love songs. I love him so my heart would sing to him. With words, with music... my voice, my hands... everything.
In the same way that I realized that my love for Anderson made all love songs come alive for me... I realized that I'm rediscovering love for God in a way that makes all the worship songs ever written come alive for me too. Awesome.
There's something so powerful about music. It reaches across ages, generations, cultures, languages... the music that one person makes... (the good stuff) touches another person's heart in ways that words can't sometimes. I feel like words come out of your brain... music flows out of your heart and soul. Receiving words... goes from one brain to another but you have to put it in the right language for someone to understand. Music is not like that. It's its own language. Almost universal, I think. Music can flow out of someone's heart and go directly into someone else's. I don't think that is an original thought. I'm pretty sure I read it or heard it somewhere else. Anyway... doesn't make it any less true.
On Monday, I had the pleasure of being around very musically gifted friends. Through the music they made with their hands and voices, even though I didn't know them well and hadn't seen them in years, I felt my heart smile as they shared their lives through their music with me. It was so much more intimate and powerful than our conversations and I'm so happy, honored, and privileged I got a chance to enjoy them as friends in that way.
On Sunday, we read from Ephesians 5 in small groups.
19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.The things we speak to others... make music in our hearts to God. Hm.
The music I make in my heart... the words that come out of my mouth... they're my lifesong. What does it sound like? Is it happy? Is it sad? What music comes out of my heart? How does my lifesong sound? What words do I put to my lifesong?
So, I've had this line stuck in my head for days: Let my lifesong sing to You. I've had that line stuck in my head even before I realized about worship music, about the power of music... about how our hearts make music. I just kept singing it over and over in my head. I didn't even know the rest of the words to the song until I looked it up a day or so ago.
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you
Let my lifesong sing to You - Casting Crowns
It's a simple song, but I like it. My lifesong is my love song... to God. I hope it makes Him smile. I don't really know how to end this post. I'll just end it here.