I absolutely have no idea what I want to write about... but lots of my blogs start out that way and they still end up being monster long.
Updates: I got back from China/Hong Kong a few days ago. It was a vacation with family. We did the Chinese tour thing in and around Shanghai for the first week, then spent 3 days in Guangzhou and 2 in Hong Kong. I got lots of stamps in my passport because we kept going in and out of Hong Kong for some reason.
I think I've flown more this past year than I have in my entire life combined. I used to get on a plane once every few years. In 2010, I've flown to Maui, Florida/Bahamas, SF, Boston/NY, China/HK... I don't know if I have any more flights in store for me the next few months. And I've driven further than I've ever driven before... I drove to Bakersfield of all places... I think the furthest I'd driven was like... San Diego. Oh jk, I drove to Santa Barbara once to see Anderson at the Issels Clinic. This year has definitely been a big year of changes for the Tiffster.
I think this is us and the yellow river. I can't be sure.
Thoughts from China... I keep trying to think of how I would sum up how being there made me feel... and the only phrase that keeps coming to mind was... "this is not my home".
Living in Texas... I was quite aware that I was different... Asian-looking... but everyone treated me very well, very nicely, and very politely. I think I'm the only Chinese person on the floor at work. Sometimes I'm very aware that I'm NOT Filipina, but in general, it doesn't bother me much. There is something even more strange about being in China... looking Chinese... but not being able to speak, read, or understand the language. As if there's some sort of expectation that I fail to meet. And I can't say that people there were that accommodating either. When we were in Hong Kong, I heard someone bargaining in English while we were shopping and he and I had a little chit chat. The sales ladies asked me later (twice) if I was friends with that "white guy" (in Chinese) and I said no. It seemed weird to them that two strangers could have a friendly chit chat. I was just desperate to speak in English and to be understood and I somehow felt more at home chatting with the "white guy" than I did with the people who look like me. I think my aunt said it best when she wrote in her travel journal:
It is quite unfortunate to find myself a deaf/dumb/mute in my parents' homeland. (probably didn't remember it verbatim... you'll have to ask her for the direct quote) - Y.Ng, Master of Librarianism
Our Chinese tour told us that our tourguide would be able to speak some English. Um. Not really. So I slept a lot on the bus. I did have some time to think. There was one tour guide who was apparently hilarious. 75% of the bus were laughing their socks off and the other 25% of us were... quiet and wondering what was so funny. Another phrase came to mind... seeing but not perceiving, hearing but not understanding. Yes, I heard the words but I had no idea what they meant and therefore they meant nothing to me. So... I was just sitting in the bus... letting China kind of just pass on by.
I imagine that this kid's saying "eh? huh?" in his head... that was pretty much me the whole time in the bus.
I think that the trip would have been infinitely more enriching had I understood what the tourguide was saying. Another phrase came to mind: to he who has, more will be given, to he who has not, even what he has will be taken away. To those who understood Chinese, they gained more historical knowledge about the places and sites we were visiting. They gained more cultural knowledge. They enjoyed laughs with each other when the tourguide was making jokes. I, on the other hand... felt like my brain was wasting away. I wasn't hardly speaking, I was zoning out a lot... I felt brain dead. I even tried doing a sudoku in pen and I messed it up beyond repair.
I know those verses don't apply to foreigners traveling to distant lands... but it did remind me about certain things. The Holy Spirit is the One that reveals spiritual truths to you. Without the Holy Spirit, we would be seeing and not perceiving what we were seeing... hearing but not getting the point of anything that was said. Without the understanding given to us by the Holy Spirit... life just passes on by and we don't even know what we're missing. I'm not a language-y person. To me... learning a new language is like...impossible... I'd be better off asking for a miracle or a brain transplant. I can pick up a few words here and there, but to be able to create full sentences or to understand more than the few phrases that my parents say to me everyday... is a whole other matter. I feel like all my life, I'd been learning things about God in bits and pieces... words and things here and there... and it really wasn't until the past few years that I started to gain a little bit of fluency... that when someone asked me a question, I could conjure an answer based on my understanding and not on a phrase I'd memorized or heard someone else say before. It is quite amazing to me when I think on it. Miraculous. And I'm excited for the H.S. to add on and increase it.
This was the happiest picture I could find with all 4 of us. It's on the ferry from Kowloon to Hong Kong.
I think my parents really enjoyed being in Hong Kong... the place where they really grew up.
And I don't think I can write about China without mentioning the whole toilet situation. Using a public restroom at home... is as difficult as... finding one. There are seat protectors, toilet paper... western toilets everywhere. Using a public restroom in China is... quite an ordeal. I have to make sure I have pocket tissues in hand; cuz once you squat, it's really hard to get stuff out of your pockets. There's rarely a hook to hang your stuff off of so... you must balance to make sure your bag doesn't hit the ground. The whole area is likely wet so I have to consider the balance issue as to NOT fall or slip into it. You aren't supposed to put toilet paper into the squatter so reaching over to put it into the trash bin is another balancing act. I brought a few flowy cardigan things... so I had to tie them to make sure they didn't hit the floor when I squatted. And... I'm a girl. Aim is... difficult. Being aware of where I'm peeing is also quite important as to keep from peeing on myself. And then there's the smell. I'm making it a point to clean out the urinals at work a little better... or to change them when the smell gets especially pungent. I can't imagine having to sleep in the same room with something emanating the stench of old urine. And I hang it off their bed rail for easy access. Yikes. Anyway, there were just so many things to consider and think about. But you gotta do what you gotta do. At first, I just figured... I'd suck it up because... this is not my home. After a while... I got used to them... and actually began to prefer them to the western toilets. Without toilet seat covers... other people just kind of bend over the toilet (without sitting on it) and the whole toilet seat is wet with pee. So... either I spend time wiping other people's pee and then lining it with pocket tissues before sitting... or I squat over it and risk touching it... or I just use a squatter and I don't have to worry about it. The squatter is faster. And I dare say... it probably uses less water than a western toilet. How very "green". I am very glad to be home though... to the land where toilet seat covers and tp are nearly always available... and tp goes into the toilet... and there are usually soap and paper towels there for you to use. It's very nice.
I think there are a lot of things you can learn to put up with if you know that where you are at the moment... is not permanent.
For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. 2 Cor. 4:17
The things that we must live through and encounter on this earth... are temporary. If you look beyond them and remember that what's to come is infinitely better and essentially perfect... does what we struggle with on a day to day basis... does it really matter all that much?
So what does matter? People matter.
I'm reminded about a sermon that Pastor Dan preached on a few months ago... on Jonah and his shrub. The shrub that grew in a day, he didn't plant it or tend to it or water it... and when the worm ate it, he said he'd rather die. Really now? But how many of us get caught up with the shrub? All of us probably. What about the souls of the ppl of Nineveh?
And in reading through the gospels lately... Jesus's heart was full of compassion for people... His people... the people of Jerusalem... the people who followed Him everywhere He went... and he told a lot of parables.
The one where the man prepared a feast and invited all these ppl... and one guy said... oh I have my land to deal with, I can't come. Another guy said... I have to manage my cattle... I can't go. Another dude said, I just got married, I can't go. Hmph. Those ppl were invited to a feast... and all those things would have been still there after the feast. Bring your wife to the feast then. I dunno. That would be the only one that might have had a semi-valid excuse. Someone just prepared a feast and wanted you to be there. Priorities, priorities.
The parable of the prodigal son... the other son was more concerned with the fact that his father never threw him a party and he didn't squander his fortune on... less than savory things... and he forgot the fact that his brother had returned home. And the dad reminded the other son... that all that he owned would be his... but to rejoice today because the lost had been found! People are more important than things.
I guess I should probably wrap it up since it's November 1st already. I think one of the best things we did in China was to go see the acrobat show. I enjoyed it immensely. China may be lacking in a lot of areas... in fact they are a down right public health nightmare as far as sanitation practices, but as far as acrobats go... they're pretty darn awesome. One guy balanced himself on a board on top of a rolling cylinder and was able to throw cups and bowls from his foot to his head... I think his max was 4 bowls from his foot that he kicked up and caught them all on his head. Unbelievable. A man balanced a massive ceramic vase on its lip on his bald head. I wonder if it created a dent in his head. I called him dent head. Anyway... if you looked at him balancing the thing on his head... spinning it... he never stood still. He was standing, but he made very small movements... small adjustments... that were necessary to keep that vase balanced on his head.
I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone... about balance. Finding a good balance between all the things we need to handle in life... is a good thing right? A good thing, but somehow an elusive one. I imagine it to be something like doing situps on the balance ball. The reason why it's a lot "better" for you is because it forces your core to work harder to maintain the balance you need to actually do situps on it. I dont know how many muscles it takes... working together to keep you on the ball... a lot? Balance isn't something you find and once you find it, you're good to go. Balance is something you have... it takes a lot of little adjustments here and there... back and forth... front and back... to maintain that balance. And I somehow think that my balance is different than your balance is different than someone else's balance. We are all uniquely different... uniquely gifted... uniquely placed in various situations. We can't just copy what someone else does and expect it to work for us all the time. Their life requires them to make their balance adjustments which don't necessarily apply to me and my life and my balance adjustments. I think it's probably best to take the best of what other people do, take the best of what works for me... leave behind what doesn't work and create some kind of hybrid thing that ends up working better than before. I'm still trying to figure out in what ways I can take my China experience and use it to enrich my life... still thinking...
k. No more thoughts for today.
Until next time...
<3,
Tiff
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