Sunday, September 20, 2009

Day 60 - Peace

Shalom is a Hebrew word, so much richer in its range of meanings than the English word "peace," which usually refers to the absence of outward conflict or to a state of inner calm. The concept of shalom includes these ideas but goes beyond them, meaning "wholeness," "completeness," "finished word," "perfection," "safety," or "wellness." Shalom comes from living in harmony with God. The fruit of that harmony is harmony with others, prosperity, health, satisfaction, soundness, wholeness, and well-being. When you pray to Yahweh Shalom, you are praying to the source of all peace.-Ann Spangler
For certain, I had no peace today. No state of inner calm. No wholeness, completeness, finished word, perfection, safety or wellness. I didn't have a particularly bad day today. Something just didn't feel quite right.

I think I tend to be in fouler moods when I have to be somewhere early in the morning. Maybe I need to sleep earlier and make it a habit to wake up earlier. The best days are my lazy days. I can wake up when I open my eyes... not to an alarm, a barking dog, or because I overheated... just wake up because I woke up. Then I like to spend hours dawdling about, eating a long breakfast and doing devotions. After that, I feel ready to take on homework, listen to online lectures... make plans... do what I need to do. Haven't had my ideal morning lately. Waking up has been tough, dragging myself to the next event is even tougher. It takes an act of God to change my heart and break me out of my morning foulness. On Wednesday, it was when I heard hundreds of ladies' voices lifted in worship at BSF. On Thursday, it was the God-given realizations/convictions after a productive nap. On Friday, it was reading a few paragraphs in Streams in the Desert that spoke directly to the state of my heart and then the joy of sharing about it with a good friend over good food.

Today... actually more like yesterday (Saturday), I woke up tired. I spent the whole day wishing I could take a nap, but not wanting to so I could sleep tonight. It was hot. My brain wasn't functioning. I had no clarity. I was swinging around this way and that way... being blown about like a feather caught in the wind.

I had read two things on Friday that really spoke to my heart. From, guess big surprise... Streams in the Desert.
1. If I see God in everything, He will calm and color everything I see.
2. Waiting upon God is vital in order to see Him and receive a vision from Him. And the amount of time spent before Him is also critical, for our hearts are like a photographer's film-the longer exposed, the deeper the impression. For God's vision to be impressed on our hearts, we must sit in stillness at His feet for quite a long time. Remember, the troubled surface of a lake will not reflect an image.
John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in Goda]">; trust also in me.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I'm tired. I'm so tired, I'm going to copy and paste something that I wrote in an email to someone else.

Today, I tire of trying to figure things out, trying to plan, trying to make time for everything that needs to be done. I just want to BE. To exist. To fall at my Master's feet and lay there... find peace, restoration, and purpose. I need for the waters of my heart to be quieted and stilled... so that His reflection will be clear for all to see.

Just thought I'd share. Night!

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