So I've gotten a lot of "how are you doing?" "did you get the job yet?" "did you hear back from the hospital yet?" type questions lately. I have been doing my part in calling. I've also been continuing to apply to other hospitals. The longer it takes for them to make a decision... it makes me think that either I didn't get the job or I'm borderline. I'm OK with that tho. I know that if it doesn't pan out that I get a job this round, that there's always next round, and the next.
I think I probably wouldn't have taken the sting of rejection (or the possibility of, in this case) very well historically. It's not a pleasant thing to be rejected by other people or to find out that you didn't quite cut it or that you just barely didn't make it. But by God's grace... I've been able to find contentment and peace in my role in life... in my purpose... and in the grand scheme of things... being unemployed is just another phase of my life. It's a pretty fun one at that. I'm enjoying every minute of it and yet still doing my part to look for employment and apply like everyone else.
I read this little story today in, my favourite... Streams in the Desert.
A story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning, only to find everything withered and dying. He asked the oak tree that stood near the gate what the trouble was. The oak said it was tired of life and determined to die because it was not tall and beautiful like the pine tree. The pine was troubled because it could not bear grapes like the grapevine. The grapevine was determined to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and produce fruit as large as peaches. The geranium was fretting because it was not tall and fragrant like the lilac.So, I'm OK if I'm not top 2%. I'm OK if the managers didn't like me. I'm not great at first impressions, I'm not the smartest, I'm not the prettiest, the tallest, the skinniest, the most eloquent, the most fun, the most gracious... all I am is me, just the way God created me. I may not even be the awesomest nurse ever and I may never be, but what I do know is that I'm gonna be the best little violet I can and that God has a purpose for me and a place for me and that purpose and place is exactly where I am right now.
And so it went throughout the garden. Yet coming to a violet, the king found its face as bright and happy as ever and said, "Well, violet, I'm glad to find one brave little flower in the midst of this discouragement. You don't seem to be the least disheartened." The violet responded, "No, I'm not. I know I'm small, yet I thought if you wanted an oak or a pine or a peach tree or even a lilac, you would have planted one. Since I knew you wanted a violet, I'm determined to be the best little violet I can be."
I dunno if you feel like a little violet too. I do have a lot of purple clothing. But that's besides the point. That's all I have time for right now. Happy Thursday, my friends! Until next time...