I wanted to thank you all SO MUCH for praying for me and for encouraging me! I've been so touched by your words, by your kindness, by your acts of love for me. Seriously... I'm so encouraged. :) Thank you.
I was vacuuming today. I hardly vacuum. Anderson would vacuum all the time. He'd always get on my case for not vacuuming my room. Every time I'd vacuum, I'd tell him that I'm only doing this for you. He'd say "FOR me?" as if I was buying myself a BMW and telling him that it was for him... but seriously...I vacuumed for him... to make him feel more comfortable in my room... because I knew he'd like it.
So I was vacuuming here and there... and I was thinking to myself... wow... I have a job. He always told me that I could go to work and he could stay home and watch the kids. I told him in my mind that I could be his sugar momma now. If only he were still around to do the vacuuming.
So yes, I only wrote a one-liner at the bottom of my last post about my interview yesterday... but God answered. He answered above and beyond what I'd asked for myself.
Almost a week ago, I was thinking to myself... that I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was thinking how rare it was to have a really interesting conversation or even a deep one. I don't know why I was feeling that way. I wasn't even depressed or sad or anything... I was just thinking that I didn't have anyone to talk to. And somehow... God decided to POUR His love out onto me to remind me that I have SO many people to talk to and SO many deep and worthwhile conversations to have with people. I didn't even ask. One after another, by phone, by text, by email, by gchat... God blessed me with wonderful conversations with people I hadn't talked to in a while. Yesterday night I was up late chatting with a friend and this particular conversation left me so giddy that I could not keep from smiling and laughing to myself as I took my shower and got ready for bed. I love how God loves me. I love how He uses His Word, circumstances and the people all around me to show me in such a powerful way that He loves me.
I will never doubt again. -Buttercup from The Princess Bride
OK. I'm beyond exhausted. In case you're not on facebook, I received and accepted an official offer for a new grad position on the telemetry/oncology (heart monitoring and cancer patients) floor at Anaheim Regional Medical Center. :) Orientation is the last week of February and I start work the first week of March. I also have a lot of really great friends whom I love very dearly.
One quickie that I wanted to share. OK maybe a few quickies. I don't even know if anything I say could ever be called a "quickie" but let me try.
The interview yesterday went quite well. I was next to dead last to be interviewed... maybe that worked in my favor... not sure. It certainly gave me a lot of time to sit and wait. I tried to go over scenarios with the people at my table. I dunno. They all just seemed to want to freak out and complain about the wait. Maybe they were too nervous to go over what you would do for a CHF (congestive heart failure) patient or a stroke patient or what drugs you'd give for this or that. Whatever. I was sitting there. I was hot and cold at the same time. Pits were sweaty. Not a great feeling but I was handling it.
Prior to the interviews we had done a medical mystery luncheon. Fun and lucrative. :) My team won and we each were gifted with a pretty hefty sum. Anyway, early on, they'd introduced all the department managers and I remember thinking to myself... I really like that one... I hope I get to talk to her later. And just so happened that she was the one who interviewed me. She was impressed that I had used the typewriter function on Acrobat to fill out my employment application. Actually, I think that the manager on the night shift was sitting with us at our table so she wasn't allowed to interview us. It really was God who worked it out that I got interviewed by this particular woman. Wow this is not going to be a quickie, is it? OK I'll get to the point. She asked me about various points on my application. I had to explain my complicated schooling situation and also my leave of absence early in 2009. I made quick mention that my husband had brain cancer and that he passed last July. Right away she looked at me and told me that the tele floor is also an oncology floor. She asked me if I could handle taking care of oncology patients. I don't know how or why, but I started to tear up. Just really quickly. I've said before that when I start crying, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore... weird stuff just comes out of my mouth. Thankfully, none of the stuff that came out during the interview was horrid.
I told her that I actually really want to work with oncology patients. I told her that I had experienced what it felt like to be a caregiver, living with someone struggling with cancer. I know how frustrating it is with all the appointments, the anxiety after a scan or diagnostic test... everyone telling you that you should do this, try this, change your diet, change the way you do this do that... everyone's got a "secret" to curing cancer and it's all so overwhelming but you do anything and everything that you can "just in case" it'll help. I told her that I know how it is and I understand.
I also told her that there were two ways that I could handle the life circumstances that I'd been given. One way is to stuff it in and try to ignore it or wish it would go away, or I could go the other way which is to use my experiences to help people and I've chosen to help people.
Maybe crying is a good way to loosen me up. I dunno. I'm not sure what else I said during the interview that stuck with her. She said my explanation about the pathophys of CHF was the best she'd heard all day. Yeah, I don't know where that came from either. Hurst Review? God probably put it in my head. Not like I didn't stutter through it either, because I did. This whole thing was God's grace. No denying it.
Anyway, I'm really happy. :) I'm really excited too. Maybe I'll freak out a little too later on, but I think that's OK. Thank you for praying for me. Good night!