Sunday, June 28, 2009

Email Archive - Subject Line: MD Anderson Again

 Jun 28, 2009, 7:17:24 PM

to ipray4anderson
Hi everyone,

Anderson's back at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.  We've been waiting for a room to open up since Friday and... here we are.  The plastic surgeon came to talk to us and told us what was going to happen.  Basically, he said that they're going to reposition some of his back muscles to cover up the wound.  Interesting.  Not really the stuff you see on Extreme Makeover.

Some things though...
  • Phlegm and lungs - previously his phlegm was mainly in his throat and his lungs were clear, but today, he started to have some crackles and now his oxygen saturations aren't what they used to be.  His secretions have really increased and he just can't cough it out.  He just had a chest xray, which I think is going to show that he's got some fluid in his lungs.  If they can't resolve his lung issues, he can't be under general anesthesia and then they'll have to postpone the plastic surgery for a later time.  Pray that respiratory will be able to do their job and get him breathing alright again.
  • Platelets - they're still low but now incredibly low.  They told us that he was going to get 10 units of platelets tonight and also probably get some while he's in the OR... if he goes. 
  • Headache - he has one today.  Not fun.  Pray that goes away and that it's not being caused by something... horrible. 
  • Appetite - hasn't been what it used to be.  He didn't even finish his bread pudding and he loves the bread pudding from MD Anderson. 
I don't know why all of these little things have happened... but I trust that God's in control and He knows what He's doing.  Please continue to pray for a miracle.

Thank you for keeping us in prayer...
<3,
Tiff


Tiffany

<tiffany.g.ng@gmail.com>
Jun 29, 2009, 7:56:16 AM
to ipray4anderson
Hi all,

Surgery has been postponed until tomorrow.  The surgeons have asked for a medical consult to see if they can do something about his lungs.  His chest xray was pretty clear so they think it might be some kind of bronchitis. 

Please continue to pray that his lung issues would clear up. 

More updates later...

<3,
Tiff

Tiffany

<tiffany.g.ng@gmail.com>
Jun 29, 2009, 6:38:45 PM
to ipray4anderson
Hi friends and family,

Today wasn't the greatest day.

Anderson's lungs/phlegm have gotten worse today.  He got an MRI, which took 2 hrs, and then we had to wait 1.5 hours for transport to take him back to the room.  When we got back, his O2 saturation was 50.  >95 is good.  It took an hour with respiratory to get him back up to the 90's... nasal cannula, non-rebreather mask... now he's on a warmed and humidified high flow nasal cannula... and his oxygen is back up to 97.  He's a little sluggish and I can't really make out what he's trying to say when he does try to say something.  He does respond to my questions with nods.  He doesn't want to eat or drink and I can't figure out if he can still swallow comfortably. 

Since we were at MRI during "prime time" in the afternoon, a lot of the doctors weren't able to see us and who knows if they'll be coming back again.  I was also pretty agitated about the wait, about his oxygenation, about the lack of action... so I don't think I made very pleasant conversation with the doctors who did come. 

So every doctor who comes in tells us a little something different.  The first one came and said his chest xray was pretty clear, another one came and said they saw some consolidation in the lower right lobe, another one came and was talking pneumonia.  He only did one chest xray so... yeah.  I hope they're all looking at the same one. 

The anesthesiologist came and said that they're going to make the call about going into surgery tomorrow... in the morning.  His surgery is scheduled for 7:30am and he'll need to go down to pre-op at 6:30 so I have no idea when they're going to make the decision. 

It's really hard to see him like this. 

Please pray. 

<3,
Tiff

Tiffany

<tiffany.g.ng@gmail.com>
Jun 29, 2009, 10:51:42 PM
to ipray4anderson
Busy night.

Since my last update a few hours ago, he's got/getting a blood transfusion, respiratory treatment, NT suctioning + sputum culture, urine culture, ABG, troponin, EKG, 3 antibiotics and maybe some other stuff I wasn't awake to witness. 

His oxygen is back up to 99-100, his sputum was white and pretty minimal, ABG's were good, troponin negative, EKG good... he looks much better on paper but he's still not very responsive.  He's moving around, but not talking. 

The neurosurgeon on call said that everything looks much better and that the neurosurgeon who will be doing the procedure will make the call whether or not to go through with the surgery tomorrow. 

I don't know what to do anymore except pray.  Feeling helpless is an understatement. 

I'm always honest with you all.  I've been emotionally delicate all day.  Even walking around the hospital, I'd pass by a spot where we had lunch a few months ago and I'd have a flashback memory and my heart would hurt. 

I'm going to try to stop projecting what could possibly happen. I can't know so it's pointless to speculate. Somehow I think it's not day by day anymore... it's minute by minute.

I really want to simply hear his voice again.  I know he's told me a billion times that everything's going to be OK... that we're going to be OK.  I have six years worth of memories to draw from, but there's really nothing like hearing him speak to me. 

The last memorable semi-coherent thing he said to me was... after the MRI nurse asked if he had a central line and I said no... he turned to me and asked me if I had a central line.  I said no, I don't have a central line.  He said, "yes you do... right here (and he pointed to my chest).  We have a central line.  We're connected."  and I broke out into tears. 

I miss my goofy husband.  I miss him so much.  It's almost like I'm watching life drain out of him.  He's only a mere shadow of his former self right now and it truly breaks my heart because he was always filled with so much silliness... at least to me.

It's times like these where I do need to stop thinking so much and just be still.  Calm down, breathe, and just be still.  I read through Psalm 23 earlier today. It's a pretty well known chapter of the Bible.  Today I imagined myself as a sheep.  At the beginning of the chapter, things are beautiful, green, and calm.  Green pastures and quiet waters.  Peace. 

He's my shepherd so I listen to his voice.  It's the only voice I need to hear and the only one I need to recognize.  He guides me and leads me and all I have to do is follow.  I follow through the green pastures and I follow through the valley of the shadow of death.  It's dark here.  It's pretty scary and I can't see what's ahead of me.  So I call out to Him.  I cry out to Him.  And I wait and listen for His voice.  He knows what's in front of me and He knows where we're going and He's always by my side even if I can't see Him.  So, I'm reminded not to be fearful... just keep listening to His voice. 

Please join me as I cry out and plead for Anderson and his life.

<3,
Tiff

Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light. --Victor Raymond Edman


Picture: this is one of my favorite pictures of us.  Not only because of my awesome coat, but because we look so peaceful. I'm with him and he's with me and that's it.  The day after we got married, a few of our friends came by to hang out with us and take pictures of us on our honeymoon. We spent most of our honeymoon weekend with our friends but we didn't mind. I think I consider our two weeks alone in Houston to be our real honeymoon.  It was God's gift to us before all this happened.  We've been living at the hospital ever since.


Honeymoon picture at Fashion Island.jpg

Tiffany

<tiffany.g.ng@gmail.com>
Jun 30, 2009, 6:59:49 AM
to ipray4anderson
Hi all,

When the doctors came to take him to surgery this morning, he was
minimally responsive and his breathing was labored. They decided to
cancel the surgery, intubate him, get a CT of his brain, and transfer
him to ICU.

They're putting a ventriculostomy in his brain now to relieve some
pressure. Hydrocephalus is likely due to progression of his original
cerebellar tumor.

We're all hurting right now. Please pray.

<3,
Tiff


Tiffany

<tiffany.g.ng@gmail.com>
Jun 30, 2009, 2:44:47 PM
to ipray4anderson
Hi everyone,

He is pretty stable and in the ICU right now. They were able to
relieve the pressure in his brain and he follows commands now. He can
shake his head yes/no, he can squeeze your hand... but he's still
intubated so he can't speak.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm doing so so.

Thank you for your prayers and for sending us your encouragement and
love. We're all hanging in here. My parents should be arriving soon.

I am comforted knowing that all of you are here with me and God's also
been using all the verses and my thoughts from the past month to
comfort me and remind me that He's there and He hasn't forgotten us.

I'm really tired and weak right now... but that's when the Bible says
that God is the strongest and most powerful. I do feel as though I'm
being carried through this so don't worry about me. Just pray for
him. I don't know what he's thinking... he can't talk to us. I hope
that God's comforting Him with His words deep inside.

I'll keep you all updated as I can...

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