Day 287 - God makes me smile

I really shouldn't be blogging seeing as I'm working tonight and should be sleeping but I had such a remarkable night at work last night that... I decided to give myself 11 minutes or so to tell you about it.

So... have you guys been praying for me regarding work or something?

Last night, I had the craziest shift I've ever had. And yet, I think it was probably the best day at work I've had yet.

So... actually just backing up a bit... I'd just like to say, for the record, that God hears the cries of my heart... even when they're not cries but just utterances or musings... He hears even when I don't even ask Him outright or outloud... and He answers so amazingly that I cannot deny His love for me, His sovereignty, or His grace in my life.

Small things...

One night, I wanted fritos. I didn't just want fritos. I wished that someone would deliver me a very small bag of fritos to my doorstep. I was sick that particular day and I was having cravings. So sue me. I went to bed that night... woke up the next day... and a friend had emailed asking to borrow my camera... and in conversation... found out I was home and sick... and asked if I wanted any food or anything. He not only brought me 2 little bags of fritos, he brought me easy mac and a can of soup... right to my doorstep. Isn't that just amazing? Who'da thought how God could orchestrate someone to deliver me a bag of fritos. One reason why I seriously contemplate moving somewhere like NY is to have food delivered (more than just pizza). I <3 food deliveries.

Another small thing... but kind of a big thing...

I was thinking to myself that I missed Anderson (which is not unusual)... but also that I missed him for all the ways that he used to correct me and tell me ways that I could be a better person... basically for his constructive criticism in my life. And... I think a few days later, I was having a conversation with a friend and he indirectly pointed out some things about my character that made me think... and then decide that I didn't want those things in my character or personality and that I was going to make a point to work on it. I don't even think he knew that it impacted me in that way... but I'm really glad that it did. And I'm really glad that even though Anderson's not here to bring me food... or tell me how I need to improve as a person... that God provides people in my life to help me out in those ways... even if it's just once per person.

And here's a huge one.

I've been struggling at work. I blogged about that last time... and I was wondering when I'd ever feel better about work... and also whether or not I'd ever earn the respect of my preceptor... who is a very good teacher, but she has extremely high standards and I never feel like I measure up... until last night.

Last night... I had a discharge, a transfer, and FOUR admits. For those of you not familiar with the nursing world... I'm on a telemetry unit... which means I get a maximum of 4 patients per shift. We groan when we have ONE empty bed (which means we'll get an admit). When I saw the assignment, I had TWO empty beds. And after getting report, I found out that one patient was just about to be discharged. That meant THREE empty beds. Admits are a LOT of work. And at my hospital... with paper charting... they're a LOT of paperwork. One of my patients... after I'd received report, settled him into the room, did my assessment and then did my admit history... found out that he needed to be transferred to another unit. Some time after he was transferred, there was a stat room clean for his room... and the beeper went off... which meant... I was getting another admit. At 4am. I'm supposed to be off work at 6, and giving report until 6:30. That didn't give me much time for this one. But thankfully... the admits weren't too bad and thankfully I had my preceptor there to help me. Oh, and one of my patients also needed to have a blood transfusion. Thankfully... I had my preceptor there with me to help with that. It's handy having another RN by my side for... procedures that require two RN's to check things.

Anyway... so... this was my craziest day of work... and yet the most blessed.

I was thinking to myself... how can I improve as a nurse... and the two things that I thought were most important to improve were to be faster at admitting patients... and to gain confidence in talking to doctors. When you admit, you probably have to call the doctor for additional orders or for consults, etc. etc. I talked to a LOT of doctors last night. I even got yelled at and got asked 3 times if I was really a registered nurse. I can't help it if the connection's bad and you have an accent and I don't understand what you're saying. When you do telephone orders you also have to read back everything they order to make sure you got it right. Suffice it to say... that conversation was a very frustrating one for the doc who already didn't want to be inconvenienced with this particular consult. I survived. I didn't cry. I didn't have a meltdown... I handled it. And also... the fact that I admitted 4 patients in one shift... I definitely improved on my speed of assessing, admitting, and shuffling through the paperwork. God answered my musings by giving me a shift where I was bombarded with the very things that I needed to improve on. Awesomeness.

I kept up with my charting... I did all my paperwork... and I even was done with report by 6:20am... with enough time to talk to my manager about some scheduling issues that I've been having. Amazing. And I was still smiling by the end of the shift.

Not only that... I think I finally won the respect of my preceptor. She normally hovers over me and critiques my every move. She says that sitting with me stresses her out sometimes. Today, she actually said that I impressed her with how much I've improved in my speed. And then she congratulated me on surviving this shift. She was proud of me. I had to stop and think back... and I am actually amazed that I survived. It felt like... just dealing with what I was handed... when it got handed to me... but looking back... that was some nursing craziness. I hope I don't have another night like that tonight... but man... if I do... I hope I handle it even better next time.

PRAISE GOD. He takes such good care of me... He makes me smile. Thank You, thank You, thank You... for never letting me forget that You love me and when I want to be better... You provide me situations that encourage/force me to grow. I love it. OK. I took 17 minutes more than I wanted to. Night!