The other day, I was driving somewhere and I thought to myself how easily and quickly I can get around... and I was extremely thankful for the blessing of having a car and being able to drive.
Today, I was cleaning my toilet and I was pondering how nice it is to have a very dependable, porcelain receptacle that gets rid of the crap I deposit in it on a daily basis.
Maybe it's leftover from the blog post I never wrote on Thanksgiving... or the fact that December and the rest of 2011 has just flown by but I wanted to just take some time to ponder the year. I can't deny that this year has been an amazing one for me. Extraordinarily amazing. If this year were the last year of my life, I think I would feel pretty darn satisfied... and leave with little to no regrets. OK. I shall... tabulate. I started out counting numerically... and then found that reviewing my pictures was more fun. I'm glad I have documented a lot with my camera. Although I can churn out monster emails in very little time... I do very much enjoy my pictures and doing a visual overview of the year. It's too much work to put it all into the post... you can just look through my 2011 adventure albums on fb.
2011... an overview... some pretty cool stuff
- Publications: 1
- Finished 1/3 of my doctoral degree
- Wrote a letter to a congressman
- Oriented a new grad nurse, I'm glad I got a chance to do this because I might not get to if I start to work as a NP
- Presented twice during manager's/director's meetings at work
- Transferred units... twice
- Found out I can survive on day shift as well as night shift
- am halfway done training to become an ICU nurse... which is something I've wanted to do since Houston
- Met a "Superhero"
- Went on a talk show
- Went to grief group
- Dressed up for Halloween... as a Star Trek cadet... or my own version of it...
- Wore rain boots in the rain for the first time ever
- Weddings: 6
- Trips to the Huntington Library: 6
- Trips to Disneyland: 4
- Trips to SF: 4
- Trips to NY: 1
- Trips to Vegas: 1
- 'Lette: can't even count. I had my first 'Lette macaron in Jan 2011.
- Bruxie: can't count that either... but probably like... 10+ which is pretty amazing considering I had my first Bruxie in NOVEMBER
- Albums which include eating with various friends: 90+
I think I've learned a lot about myself this year. I don't think this has been my most contemplative year. I haven't seriously journaled in a while... and I do recall some pretty rough times emotionally this past year... which God was gracious to provide lots of friends to get me through. I wonder if it's nearing the end of my blogging days. I dunno. Anyway... life has been... amazing.
Since I've started in the ICU... I think it's made me think about a lot of things. Since I'm meeting so many new people and have been pushed to think, to speak, to grow in ways I haven't yet experienced... I have been so incredibly humbled as well as challenged to identify my weaknesses and work on becoming better... knowing more... pondering how things fit together... anticipating needs... I'm still not ready to be on my own yet but I've been learning so much. And I see how all my life's experiences and even my nursing experience up until this point has brought me to this place, right here and now. And it's been a very gentle learning experience.
Well. It's been gentle but also... a little bit "rough". In the ICU, I've confronted more emergent situations... more codes... and more death than I've had in my entire life. ICU nursing is just a little bit stressful, I think... but I don't really feel the stress of it. I wondered if I was just growing apathetic and complacent but... I don't think so... because... I still cry (sometimes just internally) for family members... my heart is still moved for them... it just doesn't incapacitate me. Maybe I'm ready for this chapter of my life. Maybe I have been prepared and I'm ready to take this next step. Who knows. All I know is that I'm here, right now... I enjoy work... I enjoy life... I enjoy (aspects of) school... and I really enjoy sharing it all with friends.
I don't even have words to describe how thankful I am for all the things that have happened... for all the gifts I've received from people... for all the ways in which my life has intersected with such beautiful randomness.
I'm tired already. My brain feels swollen. I've fallen asleep a lot out of pure exhaustion in the past month. Anyway... I'm thankful for the day of rest and the time I have to just exist... to be quiet... to think simply... and ponder the delightfulness of 2011.
Joy, unspeakable joy
An overflowing well
No tongue can tell
Joy, unspeakable joy
Rises in my soul
Never lets me go
Joy to the World.
Welcome, 2012!
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