Day 214 - Changes cont.

Now that day 1 of orientation is done, I think I was being a little bit dramatic about the first day of work and lamenting over the loss of my student lifestyle. I feel like God's giving me another week to ease into the working world to appease my mourning heart.

I wish I had more excitement to report for my first day of work. Let's see... the most exciting things were that... there was free food, I made a few friends because I was friendly, chatty Tiff today (one girl even said that she wished that I was working the same shift with her... always nice to feel wanted), I learned some good ergonomic ways to sit, lift, and transfer patients, and... hm... well, I think the most exciting thing about today was getting my badge and parking pass.

I don't know why but actually having a badge with my name, my picture (and a pretty decent one at that), and my RN title... somehow makes me feel like a real nurse. I've been a nurse for almost a year now but the badge somehow solidified it for me. I was really really giddy when the HR lady handed it to me. The girls next to me were like laughing at me cuz I put it on to show them and I kept playing with it, stroking it, and flipping it over and over in my hands. I'M SO DORKY.

I didn't even want to put it away when I drove home. I sat my badge on the seat next to me. Looking at it makes me smile. I wonder why these stupid little things make me so happy. Has my threshold for happiness just gone so low that every little thing makes me happy? Whatever the reason, I'm really appreciative and really thankful and if that makes me happy and if I'm happier all the time, then who cares why.

It used to take a whole lot to get me excited. Hm. Actually, thinking back... I don't think I got excited for much of anything... except for when Alton Brown came to the OC Fair and when Anderson would come back from Brazil or hanging out with Anderson altogether. Those might have been the few things that would make me jump up and down with glee. Oh wait... that and having my sister-in-law take us to Wicked. Anderson didn't understand why I was so excited to see Wicked... until we went and then HE was like... Oh... I get it now.

I feel like I finally get it.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. EVERYTHING that's good is from God. The little things, the big things... all from God and I see them as God's gift to me. And to finally be in a place where I'm full... content with life... that I feel free to enjoy everything that life has to offer. To have joy when other people have joy... means that I'm NOT secretly wishing that I had what they had. I'm happy because they're happy. I'm happy because seeing them happy is what makes my heart smile. Is it perspective? Or a deep appreciation and thankfulness for what's in the glass and not for what's missing? Stuff just makes sense now. I know that it does and I feel that it does but it's sometimes hard to describe it.

There's stuff in this world, that when juxtaposed with eternity... really doesn't matter... but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate it all just the same. All the good things and the joy just foreshadow the great goodness to come. And all the seemingly bad things... go to point out my sin, my weaknesses, and my dire need for reliance on my Savior. I'm trying to be more succinct. But I feel like I miss out on a lot of explanation. But then again, I should be studying EKG's and medications for tomorrow's test during orientation.

K... until next time...